tally

thefridayfive

1. What's one of the nicest things a friend has ever done for you?
I have been given so much love by so many friends over my life, which occasionally contributes to my "I'm a bad friend" complex in that I feel I can't adequately return it, but notable memories: (1) A friend on here showed up with me on a court date for support when I was a demoralized shell of a person, to which I remain grateful to this day, (2) when my house was broken into many years ago (I don't exactly remember when, but it was during my single-parenting period, so between 2006-2011) and my laptop and savings jar stolen (we didn't have a lot of stuff to steal), a group of friends fundraised to help me purchase a new laptop, which was a lifeline for my work and my writing; (3) other lovely friends have sent gifts over the years, including homemade scarves, hats, trinkets, and otherwise, which are ways of letting me know I am loved. I am a sucker for handmade things because I know the labor that goes into them (and I'm really bad/unpracticed at such crafts!)

2. What's one of the nicest things a stranger has ever done for you?
Once in 1998 I was very pregnant and car-free and took the bus everywhere. One time I boarded the wrong bus and ended up in a rural backwoods area not knowing how to get back to the right route/stop for the right bus. I started walking down the two lane to try to get myself headed in the right direction for town, but was wearing a cheap pair of sandals and was moving slow. I don't remember why, but I didn't call my partner at the time, probably because he would have berated me for getting off the bus. A gentleman in a white van found me walking on the side of the road in the heat and offered me a ride. I was extremely suspect of the van, but his vibe seemed safe, and he took me back into town to the right area and dropped me off without issue. I don't remember much about our conversation, but he was a country boy with a young wife/family and could tell I was miserable in the heat, and he was honestly being kind.

3. What is a trait in another person that you instantly admire, and that draws you to them?
Someone who demonstrates thoughtfulness to the idea of diversity among circumstances and perspectives and is generous in the emotional, mental, and physical sense.

4. What is a trait in another person that instantly repels you, and prevents you from forming a close relationship with them?
Self-centeredness, close-mindedness, and especially behavoir that exhibits racist/xenophobic or homophobic/transphobic ideas.

5. Time to vent: tell us about something rotten someone has done to you.
I doubt there is much I'd feel comfortable putting in a public post. I had a falling out with a friend a few years ago that was painful, but I let it lie. I found out later that the former friend had been bad-mouthing me (and their incorrect assumptions about me) to others. I had really worked hard to not talk ill of this person, even though the breakup and loss of friendship was painful, recognizing that we grew in different directions, and coming to a place where I just wanted the best for them. I guess I'd thought they they would do the same, but I suppose I was wrong.